In all my years of standing in lines, I've never met quite so clever a line-cutter as you. The method to your mannerlessness? I don't believe you realized you were doing anything wrong. So, really, you're not very clever at all. You're just an idiot.
The scene:
The hustle and bustle at the Lex. Ave. Starbucks on a weekday morning is typical. Most patrons are repeat customers, and have their usual ridiculously-named orders memorized, ready to spout out to the next available cashier. Each drink order takes an estimated 18 hours to pronounce. And if you add an artisan breakfast panini? Fuggetaboutit.
That said, it's a chunk of time that I account for as part of my morning commute, and a ritual for which I have developed a certain level of tolerance.
Then I met you.
The insolence:
I noticed you in line while I was waiting for my own obnoxious beverage. When it was your turn at the register, you stepped out of line and let the person behind you go next. You said "Go ahead, I'm waiting for someone and I'm not sure what he wants to order." The lady behind you smiled, and stepped up to place her order.
But here it comes. The official moment that, in my mind, you became a buffoon.
You stepped back INTO line behind her and continued to wait for your friend.
After about five or six repetitions of this little two-step, I just stood there and laughed. You were repeatedly cutting the line. Letting the person in back of you go ahead, then getting back into line in front of the next person. And out and in and back and forth...accompanied by some other convincing moves, like balancing on your tiptoes and looking toward the front door to see if your friend was on his way.
I wondered how the plot would unfold.
That's when your friend finally arrived and joined you. At the front of the line.
Smiling to myself, I grabbed my chai, walked out the door and let the dozen sleepy, grumpy and thirsty New Yorkers in back of you take it from there.
The moral:
What's a moral to a man with no morals? I'll simply say this – please don't stand in the consumer line if you're not ready to consume. It's terribly rude. Besides, you never know what loather with a laptop may be lurking nearby.
Forever your cup o' Joe foe,
A customer who's always right
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