Dear Word-Butchers of the World,

Irregardless of what you believe, I am here to reiterate again what I consider to be a rising problem in the year two thousand and eleven.

But before I do, let me ask you this – did you notice anything wrong with my first sentence?

Of course you didn't. And THAT is why I'm writing.

People make mistakes. It's human. In writing, it happens all the time. I'm sure my letters could use a proofreader's eye (although too many negative comments may result in a loathe letter of its own, so proofreaders be warned).

Piddly mistakes are not the topic here. Neither is sloppy grammar. I am writing to direct attention to some key words and phrases that you insist on pronouncing incorrectly. Errors I am begging you to fix now. Because they are making my ears bleed. And my mom won't stop writing to me with examples.

Here is just a short list of repeat offenders, followed by some important notes. 

Stop saying:
Irregardless

Why:
There is no such word. The correct word is "regardless." Save the "ir" for words you understand, like "dirt" and "squirrel." 


Stop saying:
PIN number

Why:
PIN = personal identification number. So what you are really saying is "Please enter your personal identification number number." And that makes you a DUM dum. 


Stop saying:
2011 (pronounced "two thousand and eleven")

Why:
The year we live in does not contain a decimal point, as your "and" indicates. It is pronounced "two thousand eleven." My guess is that you also write out mortgage checks that say "one thousand and five hundred and twenty-five dollars and 75/100." And for that you should be evicted. 


Stop saying:
Repeat that back

Why:
By repeating something, it has already come back. Ditch the "back." Much like the "number number" offense above, you are making another boo-boo. (Also stupid: Reiterate again.) 


Stop saying:
"After the meeting, people conjugated in the parking lot."

Why:
Just look it up.

I wish I could go around the world and highlight all of the people who are mistakes, but I can't. So instead, I have highlighted these common errors. Please refer to this list whenever you feel the need to open your mouth and speak. I appreciate it. My mom appreciates it.

See you next slip-up,
Anomynous Anonymous