That said, I am here to offer support at the bus stop, where your self-absorption symptoms tend to be at their worst.
Please draw your attention to Figure A.
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| Fig. A: A healthy bus stop situation |
As you can see, there is a sign post where the bus stops each morning. To the left of the sign post is the bus shelter. To the right is the street corner.
In a healthy bus stop situation, the first person to arrive at the bus stop waits by the sign post. All subsequent passengers form a line to the left in front of the bus shelter. By the time you arrive, this line is usually plenty long and consists of people other than yourself.
In other words, the planet Earth consists of people other than yourself.
Researchers believe that it may be a certain shade of blue – similar to that of the bus stop sign post – that triggers the Idowhatiwant enzyme to produce a selfish reaction in the body. This can cause a bonehead to drift to the right of where they are supposed to be, as shown in Figure B.
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| Fig. B: An unhealthy bus stop situation |
Generally speaking, standing to the right of the sign post is harmless. But once the bus arrives, Idowhatiwant takes over. It will cause you to move toward the bus door and immediately enter the bus the instant the door opens, with no regard for senior citizens, the wheelchair-bound and every other passenger who has been waiting for at least 15 minutes in the cold, prior to your arrival. This is bad.
So what have we learned?
While it is unlikely that being so self-involved is something that will ever go away completely, education such as this can help to alleviate certain symptoms. Symptoms that can affect other people. Piss off other people.
Please do your best to keep on top of your disruptive condition. We certainly don't want you to end up like Figure C.
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| Fig. C: Awwwwww |
Get well soon,
Passenger 1
i miss nyc.
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